What We Had
by Cheza-chan
Summary: It takes place shortly after Ichigo and Grimmjow first meet; alternate timeline, save for the end. Songfic / Transferred from LJ.


**Title:** What We Had  
**Author/Artist:** Cheza-chan  
**Pairing/Characters:** Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez / Kurosaki Ichigo  
**Rating:** R - NC-17  
**Disclaimer:** Bleach no mine. Cheza sad… *emo tear*  
**Summary/Notes:** My first songfic; I chopped up Kubo Tite's timeline. Personally, I think the fic's a lil' long, but... that's just me.

* * *

**[song: "Better Than Me" – Hinder]**

Kurosaki Ichigo's fingers twitched then tightened into a fist atop the broken concrete he lay upon. His body gave a slight shudder and he coughed, a spray of blood peppering the same fisted hand. The sound of crunching gravel and footsteps seemed distant and almost distorted to the shinigami, but he knew his attacker was close.

Brown eyes widened and Ichigo found himself propelled several yards from his original spot by the kick to his side. He rolled to a slow stop, dust settling around him, and struggled to push himself up. The mind-numbing pain tearing through his body told him more than a few ribs had probably been broken. With another cough, Ichigo fell back onto the ground, just barely managing to avoid the small puddle of blood he'd created.

The man's laughter rang loudly in his ears, taunting him, but he could do nothing to drown it out.

"Oi, shinigami! I think it was a waste you told me your name." A booted foot came down atop Ichigo's head, pressing his face further into the dirt. "You put a scratch on me last time, but it looks like you haven't gotten any stronger since then." Grimmjow's grin turned into a sneer when there was no response and he removed his foot, dropping into a crouch beside the shinigami's frame. "Your friends will be here soon, so I need you to listen good. Next time we meet, put up a fight!"

Dull brown eyes remained focused on the white hakama after the Arrancar had stood. Ichigo grimaced and his vision blurred; the loss of blood was once again taking its toll. The last thing the teen heard before slipping unconscious was:

"Become someone worthy of being my prey."

Grimmjow appeared for a brief moment in the late afternoon sky then disappeared. A flash of black and orange followed him. He snatched the slim black blade out of mid-swing and pulled the orange-haired shinigami forward. Ichigo kicked him away, reclaiming his zanpakutou.

Grimmjow raised his hand, licking at the palm. "That ticked," he laughed, tauntingly. "Have you gotten better, shinigami?" The laughter increased.

Ichigo gripped Zangetsu tightly, eyes narrowing determinedly.

Turning so his left side faced the boy, Grimmjow freed his other hand from the pocket of his hakama and took aim. The energy forming within his outward-facing palm continued to swell until it exploded, shooting forward. A black crescent from the shinigami's end countered the blast but the bala broke through, throwing Ichigo backwards. Performing a soshido, the Espada appeared before the falling boy, a wide grin on his face as he kicked him, speeding Ichigo's downward travel.

"Stronger, shinigami!" he roared, flying down to the smoking crater. "You have to get stronger!"

**x**

_I think you can do much better than me  
After all the lies that I made you believe_

* * *

Angry brown eyes glared up at the blue-haired figure that had him pinned to the grimy floor. During another of their bouts, they had fallen through the decaying roof of an abandoned warehouse, thus ending up in their current predicament. Grimmjow was tired of fighting; he'd toyed with the boy long enough and it was now time to take what he wanted.

Ichigo's eyes widened and he fought to escape from the bruising grip when Grimmjow tore open the leg of his hakama via the opening at the side. "What the fuck are you doing?" He pushed a hand against the other's face, his reiatsu flaring.

Grimmjow scowled and snatched the boy's arm away, turning the shinigami over onto his stomach to twist the appendage behind his back.

"Get off, asshole!" Ichigo snarled. He let out a pained grunt when his face was shoved into the floor.

"Don't struggle and it'll be less painful," the other hissed into his ear. "Admit it—you want this!"

"Like hell—"

"Why else would you consistently take up my challenges?"

"If it takes doing it one fight at a time, so but it, but I will get rid of you once and for all. Every last one of you…"

Grimmjow scoffed and tore off the remainder of the teen's black hakama. "So fuckin' stubborn."

"Grimmjow!"

Hearing his name shouted by his prey only spurred the Espada on. "You feel something when we fight. I know because of the look in your eyes." Using the hand not holding Kurosaki's wrists together, Grimmjow rid the shinigami of his fundoshi and pressed two fingers into him without warning. A pained shout left the boy.

**X X X**

Grimmjow stared down at the shinigami's naked frame. He showed no outward reaction when the bruised body stirred. "Will you fight me the next time we meet, shinigami?"

The answer he received was spoken in a low, hoarse voice, "…Yes."

Grimmjow scowled.

**x**

_Guilt kicks in and I start to see  
The edge of the bed  
Where your nightgown used to be_

* * *

He wasn't really thinking of the city's well being when he positioned himself well on the outskirts of Karakura. Grimmjow could care less. His concern was more for _their_ privacy. He'd stopped approaching the shinigami for quick trysts and fucks two weeks ago. Kurosaki Ichigo would prove him right and appear before the Arrancar today—on his own. But the two weeks had almost been a problem for the Sexta Espada to endure; he hadn't realized how accustomed he'd grown to the teen's body.

Grimmjow lowered himself down into a clearing, surrounded by a light ring of foliage, and closed his eyes, recalling one of their last times together. That time had also been the first time Ichigo's resistance against the enemy had wavered and waned.

**x x x**

_Kurosaki tried to shrink away when he felt the Arrancar's tongue follow the trail of blood that led back up to the wound on his temple. He didn't get very far, given he was trapped between a wall and a hard body. "Why me?" he spat._

_"Why not?" Grimmjow rebutted with a chuckle. The questions had become routine after the first week of their 'meetings'._

_"Fuck something with a lower rank than yours!" Ichigo shook his head back and forth to keep the other at bay. He also tried to tear the sash binding his arms together form the elbows down to his wrists._

_"Not as pleasurable," the Espada drawled._

_With a shout, the orange-haired shinigami head butted the man. For his efforts, he received a fist to the face that knocked him to the floor. Grimmjow wiped at the blood trickling from his nose, glaring down at the shinigami. Ichigo gave him a smirk in return, blood trailing from the corner of his mouth._

_The Espada knelt, snatching a fistful of the orange hair, and pulled the teen close. Ichigo's eyes widened when he felt the other's warm lips press against his. It was the first time they'd ever kissed. Caught off-guard by the probing tongue that had slipped into his mouth, Ichigo let out a soft moan when the other's hand rubbed him through his hakama. Grimmjow smirked at the color spreading across the boy's cheeks._

**x x x**

The Espada's eyes snapped open and a triumphant grin spread across his face. Very slowly, Ichigo made his way up the grassy knoll to where the Arrancar stood.

Once they were an arm's length apart, Grimmjow introduced a new question into the game: "What is it you want, shinigami?"

Ichigo's eyes narrowed as he scowled, but he didn't attack. Instead, he took a small step forward, issuing a silent challenge. Grimmjow accepted it.

**x**

_I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remembered  
What it feels like beside you_

* * *

Ichigo hid his face against Grimmjow's neck and tightened his arms around the powerful shoulders as he was lowered onto the Espada's erection. They had upgraded themselves from decrepit warehouses and alleys, and were now using the semi-safety of the boy's house to continue their affair. With a simple barrier erected around the room, it kept them from being immediately detected. Ichigo had braved Urahara Shoten and its perverse owner in order to retrieve the necessary items to create it. The one thing it couldn't stop was intruding family members; that was a job best left for a locked door.

Pleasure broke through Ichigo's current train of thought when Grimmjow thrust upward after raising then lowering the slim body in his lap. He tilted his head back and allowed the firm kisses along his throat and across his collarbone, whimpering when he felt the sharp edge of the toothy mask slide across his skin.

Ichigo pushed at Grimmjow's shoulders until the Espada leaned back. Glazed over sky-blue eyes stared at the teen, irritation visible in their depths. Ichigo ignored the subtle glare and continued pushing at Grimmjow's shoulders until he had the Arrancar lying back on the bed. "Let me." He placed a quick kiss to the corner of Grimmjow's mouth before straightening back up.

Spreading his legs a little until he felt himself take the other to the hilt, Ichigo lightly braced his hands atop Grimmjow's chest and began moving on his own, lifting then lowering himself back onto the Espada's manhood. Grimmjow's fingers dug into the teen's thighs as the tight muscles stroked him each time the shinigami moved. He slid his hands up to Ichigo's waist and held him steady. Ichigo opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a loud moan as the Espada brought him back down sharply while thrusting his hips upward. Red marks slowly began appearing on the Arrancar's chest where the boy's nails raked across his skin. The Sexta Espada had once against taken control; he wasn't the type to sit and be serviced, at least, not with his current partner.

Ichigo took one hand from the other's chest and wrapped his fingers around his leaking arousal, stroking the heated flesh. Grimmjow gritted his teeth as the muscles around his cock began contrasting more frequently. Ichigo increased the pumping motion of his fist around his erection. His breathing came in uneven pants and he let out a small whimper as he gave the head of his cock a brief squeeze with each upward pass. "Grimm–Grimmjow…"

The Arrancar's hands tightened around the shinigami's waist and he lifted a startled Kurosaki from his lap. Ichigo was thrown onto his back on the back and his legs pushed up and held apart. He arched from the bed when Grimmjow slammed back into him, pushing his hips back to meet every thrust. Grimmjow let out a low, guttural sound as the teen's muscles tightened, dragging him over the edge to his climax.

Beneath him, Ichigo had also found his release and was now panting heavily, trying to regain his breathing rate. He shifted when the Espada collapsed beside him, turning so they were face to face. Managing to lift his arm, Grimmjow reached up and tangled his fingers in the damp, unruly orange hair. He brought the shinigami closer. When their lips meet, it was in a gentle manner—no gnashing of teeth. As their mouths opened to let probing tongues in, the coppery taste of blood was nowhere to be found.

Grimmjow grinned against Ichigo's lips and snaked his hand down between their bodies.

Ichigo ducked his head and tried to push the Espada's hands from between his legs. "No more."

"You say that… yet you're already getting hard again!"

"Grimmjow!"

**x**

_I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You can do much better than me_

* * *

It was as if time stood still for the new couple. Even though a war waged on silently around them, one that could drag all of Karakura Town to its death, Ichigo hadn't lifted a finger in an act of violence toward the Sexta Espada in over a month. He was lifting his hand now, but only to brush his fingers over the several love marks decorating his chest.

His brow furrowed. In their case, the term "hickey" was probably more appropriate. With a deep sigh, Ichigo snatched up the long-sleeved black and red shirt hanging off the back of his chair and pulled it on while heading out of his room.

**x**

_While looking through your old box of notes  
I found those pictures I took  
That you were looking for_

**x**

"Family outing!" Isshin announced loudly to the three dubious-looking children seated on the sofa before him.

"Why?" Karin sighed, propping her head up with her arm. "It's bad enough our friends know you're our father. Why tell everyone else?"

"Karin-chan!" Isshin sobbed, fisting his hands together against his chest, tears already in his eyes. "Daddy loves you all very much! I could gobble you all up—the fruit of my loins!"

"Don't say disgusting things!" Karin and Ichigo shouted in unison. Yuzu had a slightly disturbed look on her face.

The bearded physician's pout lasted but a few seconds before he was soon back to grinning. "Time to go shopping!" he cheered, punching the air victoriously.

**‡ ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡**

Ichigo shut the door behind himself after stepping into the changing room, nonchalantly tossing the few tops and jeans he'd picked out onto the low bench. He muttered under his breath about being too old for shipping trips with his old man and began tugging off his shirt. After freeing his arms from the long sleeves and lowering them, Ichigo's eyes widened at the gaping black hole behind him that he stared at in the mirror. He spun, the shirt dropping from his hand, and gaped at the light-haired Espada that stepped out from the Garganta. "What the fuck are you doin'?" he hissed.

Grimmjow smoothed a hand through his blue locks—the bangs settled back into place across his forehead—a bored look on his hardened features.

"Someone could have seen–"

"I came to _you_."

"I'm sure someone _sensed_ you… How big does that thing span anyway?"

The Arrancar stepped forward, the rip closing behind him, and Ichigo stepped back. His heart rate skyrocketed when a soft knock sounded at the door.

"Onii-chan. Are you okay in there?"

"Fine, Yuzu!" the orange-haired teen laughed loudly, trying to cover up his nervousness. He skirted around the scowling figure to the front of the room and opened the door. The items she held out for him made his heart drop into the pit of his stomach. Yuzu smiled apologetically as he took the clothes that had been draped over her arm. Ichigo thanked her and quietly closed and locked the door. His eyes narrowed when he was met with the other's smirk.

Grimmjow reached out and snatched the shinigami's forearm, pulling the teen across the small distance. The clothes fell from Ichigo as he was turned sharply and forced to brace his hands against the mirror. He shivered at the other's mildly cold touch against his bare chest. The Arrancar traced the hickeys also, a proud smirk tugging at his lips, then dropped his hands, undoing the button and zipper of Ichigo's pants.

"Don't–"

"Why not?"

"Because I'll have to buy this shit if it gets dirty."

"Not my problem."

Ichigo's finger curled against the cool glass when the Espada's hand slipped into his underwear. It didn't take long for him to grow hard, not just from the expert hand job, but also because Grimmjow had begun assaulting his bare neck and shoulders with rough nips and kisses. Ichigo bit back what could have possibly been a loud cry when a finger slipped inside of him. He pushed his hips back to meet the single digit, but the desire clouding his mind wanted him to go forward when Grimmjow's other hand tugged at his hard length.

A second finger joined the first and both moved deep inside the tight heat, probing, searching. As luck would have it, the Espada's fingers rubbed against Ichigo's prostate and at the same time, teased the slit at the tip of the teen's cock. Ichigo's head snapped back and Grimmjow's mouth was there to cover his, smothering the shout as the shinigami came.

Slumping against the strong frame, Ichigo let his gaze land on the articles of clothing that had unfortunately been in the way. "Grimmjow—"

"I'm not finished with you yet, so move this shit outta the way if it's botherin' you."

Ichigo worried his lip between his bottom teeth as he stared at the smirking Arrancar via the mirror.

**x**

_If there's one memory I don't want to lose  
That time of the mall  
You and me in the dressing room_

* * *

Ichigo glared impatiently at the clock hanging on the front wall of the classroom. The end of the school day was only several minutes away, but because time knew the reason why he ached to be free, it slowed down just to torment him.

During their last time together, Grimmjow had told him he would be dropping by today. He didn't want the Arrancar to have a run-in with any members of his family if he wasn't there to keep him entertained. After an excruciating ten minutes, the bell finally rang and Ichigo was among those first few students out of the seats and through the door.

At his shoe locker, though, Hitsugaya and Rangiku approached him. Ichigo's fingers tightened around the handle of his school case as he was immediately forced to remember the current situation the entire town had been dragged into.

**‡ ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡**

"Stay."

Grimmjow froze after standing from the teen's bed. He scoffed, placing a hand on his bare hip as he turned to stare down at the figure huddled amongst the sheets of the disheveled bed. "You're asking a lot, especially after that late-ass appearance you pulled today."

Ichigo ducked his head. Hitsugaya had called a small get-together to inform him about the latest news they'd received on Aizen in Hueco Mundo. On his way home after that, Hiyori and Hirako had cornered him, the small Vaizard yelling at him about whether or not he intended to finish training.

"You're letting yourself get too attached."

The Sexta Espada's words caused him to frown. "_I'm_ the one attached? Do I come to Hueco Mundo to see you?"

"Then come with me!"

An unnamable feeling worked its way through the shinigami's body and encircled his heart. Cold tendrils squeezed and he gasped, the words tumbling from his mouth without any second thoughts: "If that's what you want, I'll go." Ichigo knew that entering Hueco Mundo would make them enemies once again. The human plane was the only neutral ground for them to be together.

The job of being surprised fell on Grimmjow then, but he masked the emotion with a harsh laugh, "Betraying your friends and family?"

Ichigo raised his head to stare at the blue-haired man. His smile was empty. "Maybe, though I probably did that the moment I brought you to my house. But if I do go with you… you have to stay."

Grimmjow stared into the unwavering brown-eyed glare and a small smirk settled onto the Espada's face. "Think of this as the calm before the storm," he grunted as he dropped back down onto the bed.

Unable to help his grin, Ichigo leaned forward, pressing his lips to Grimmjow's. "Attached, aren't we?" he whispered.

"We're about to be." Hands gripping the orange-haired teen's shoulders, Grimmjow pushed him back down onto the bed.

**x**

_I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remembered  
What it feels like beside you_

* * *

After being together for almost two months, their sordid love-hate relationship seemed to have reached an end.

Tousen Kaname, after having overheard the Sexta Espada talking with another Arrancar, took it upon himself to instill some discipline in Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. The two had always been at each other's throats; Grimmjow's attitude lacked trustworthiness and his actions were never justified. Grimmjow just didn't give a damn what the sightless man thought of him.

The anguished yell that flooded Las Noches originated from a one blue-haired being. As his punishment for what Tousan had called "conspiring against Aizen Sousuke", the Espada had lost his left arm. Panting, he fell onto the floor of his spacious room, glaring at the hole he'd tried to blow through the wall. His gaze fell to the wrapped stub that had once been his arm and felt his anger swell once more.

What he'd been proudly boasting to the low level Arrancar was that he was going to bring his newest toy back to Las Noches to show off. Only a handful of people knew that "toy" was Kurosaki Ichigo. Tousen thought it was blasphemous to bring the enemy into their stronghold, especially when things were progressing so smoothly.

"That fuckin' bastard!" Grimmjow roared, his reiatsu exploding. His eyes widened when his spirit energy was significantly smothered and he slowly turned to see Aizen Sousuke standing at the entrance of his domain. He gritted his teeth, snarling softly. He would probably have been fooled into believe Aizen was going to regret what had to be done, but the coldness and emptiness of the man's eyes told him there was no compensation to be found anywhere.

'_Shinigami_…_This is it_.'

**‡ ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡**

Ichigo's eyes opened and, for the fourth time that night, he gave a loud, restless sigh. Something just didn't feel right. It was totally like Grimmjow to leave him for a few days just to make him admit to being wanton, but something felt different this time around.

The shinigami rolled over onto his stomach and stared out at the crescent moon hanging in the deep blue night sky. Had things finally ended? Ichigo lowered his cheek onto the pillow, staring off into space. "…It was bound to happen."

**x**

_The bed I'm lying in is getting colder  
Wish I never would have said it's over  
And I can't pretend…_

* * *

Grimmjow would make this the last time they ever saw each other. With no soul, he felt torn between whether or not the boy had been worth losing his rank over. Even though he was once again _the_ Sexta Espada, he was going to eradicate the problem once and for all… or at least die trying his damn hardest. His left arm hung at his side, bloody from having stopped Ulquiorra's close-range bala. The Cuarto Espada problem had been temporarily taken care of. All that was left now was the shinigami that stood before him.

Ocean-blue eyes widened then narrowed at the words Ichigo had spoken to the woman. "I didn't ask for your sympathy." He'd spat his response to Kurosaki's request to heal them both.

Ichigo returned the glare. There was nothing left between them; this fight was to prove that. "Didn't you want to have a fair battle? Or is it…" His glare grew more sharp and dangerous. "You want to save those wounds, so you have an excuse when you lose?"

Grimmjow attacked first. He only felt this rush of excitement when fighting his former lover—his shinigami enemy. Ichigo blocked, sparks flying as their blades connected. "So be it!" the Espada laughed, staring at the other over their blades. "Let's kill each other on equal grounds then!"

**X X X**

_…I won't think about you when I'm older  
'Cause we never really had our closure  
This can't be the end_

The gentle caresses that had once existed between them had again been replaced with unrelenting sword attacks. Also, because of their location, Grimmjow had no restrictions on the amount of balas he would be able to use.

_I really miss your hair in my face_

The shinigami's caring and playful disposition had been replaced with a determination the Arrancar had never seen before. Grimmjow smirked at the being that was revealed as the smoke from his Hollow Flash cleared. "So… He finally came out, huh…?"

_And the way your innocence tastes_

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez had himself a good laugh over the turn of events. Was he still fighting Kurosaki Ichigo? The glowing yellow eyes that stared down at him could have fooled anyone else, but he knew the boy was still in charge of his transformation. The Espada lifted his zanpakutou and placed the fingers of his free hand directly atop the flat side of the blade.

_And I think you should know this…_

A smoldering fire burned in the blue eyes. This time, he would have no interruptions. He dragged his nails down over the blade.

_You deserve much better than me_

"Grind, Pantera…"

* * *

**A/N:** Muuur! I know I did bad… I mos' definitely coulda had the fic without the lyrics. *hides head in the sands like an ostrich* I hope the scenes matched the lyrics. And if the ending seems a lil' chop-tastic, it's 'cause I rushed ahead with the scenes without thinking about how much lyrics I had left, so… *shrugs* XD; / I decided to post this because they played a Hinder song on the radio today: **Lips of an Angel** *loves 'em; felt a bit nostalgic* ...something they haven't done in years. Enjoy~? *runs away* :3


End file.
